The Return

Boyfriend and I are back in Coburg.

We had lots of fun.

I finished my knitting project for the week in two days. Turns out, feltables knit up crazy quick.

Boyfriend got labeled as 'from another planet' for his slight airheadedness and 'not German' for not calling his mother 'Mutti'. I concluded this means he's from Saturn. Oh well, alien or not, he's mine and no one else can have him.

We did end up renting bikes, which turned out to be 9 euros a day, but we got a deal on five days for the price of three, since we'd be returning them early and we rented them about one hour before the store closed. Boyfriend's was the shiniest, proving that men can be distracted by shiny things, too. After about a mile, the chain flew off. He didn't manage to alert me to this fact, and I found out two kilometers later. By the time I found him, he'd been standing around helplessly for long enough for passer-bys to take pity on him and help.

We got five kilometers further before the chain came off again. This time, we weren't close to a noisy road and I heard the unmistakable KLUNK-"SCHEISSE!!" of a man who is not used to a willfull bike. Sadly, I didn't have my bike bags with me, so my handy-dandy gloves were far, far away. I did know enough to guide Boyfriend to a grassy patch next to the road when ordinary tinkering wouldn't get it back on. We flipped it upside down, got a grip on the chain, and managed to make it to the B&B.

The next day, my uncle and dad proved their techno-nerdiness. My dad travels everywhere with a tool box. Not a measly basic screwdriver set, hammer and adjustable wrench, either. You can maintain pretty much anything with nuts, bolts and screws up to two inches wide with that thing. And when he broke it out and my uncle looked it over, the two brothers discussed the pros and cons of having 'a number fourteen' in there, which my dad hadn't. My uncle thought this was folly, my dad said he managed without.

Anyway, we arrived to find them working on my bike. Apparently, mine needed maintaining too. And they didn't know which one was Boyfriend's, either. They worked their magic, broke the gears' equilibrium, but the chain stayed on. Something about the bikes looking modern, but being cheap because of an old-school chain set up where you had to move the back wheel to tension the chain.  Also, that seat needed to be higher, chop-chop. Boyfriend sulked about this last bit. Who cares about spines when you could be as stable as a child with trainer wheels, anyway? That argument didn't work, so he got to learn that, on a 'unisex' (read: women's) bike, the healthy seat height is actually kind of comfortable. I think the testicular crush risk going down in case of a crash also helped.

I also went shopping, as per usual. I found a few shirts and the world's most comfortable dress. Boyfriend found a new hat, which he loved almost as much as I love my new dress.

We spent one day playing Monopoly. Boyfriend won. Yes, I sulked, but it was fun. 

Walks, we didn't go on. Boyfriend didn't feel like it, and I had not been in pain for literally weeks and wanted to keep up this streak of healthiness by avoiding steep up- and downhills. Then my dad slanted an explanation in such a way that it sounded like my parents, sister and cousin would take a walk, and Boyfriend and I would visit a castle. There was a two-kilometer walk to the castle. This sounded innocent, until I saw the signs warning of 30% inclines, no wheelchairs, no elderly walkers, mountainbikers BEWARE!!!. I was wearing sandals, not hiking shoes.

Strangely, no problems were felt going down. The way back, however, was full of 30% inclines up. My 'bad' leg, the one that underwent two surgeries, a cast and then hurt the most while I discovered my shin splits, was strangely fine with this. My left leg, however, felt like I was tearing the muscles straight from my calf bone. Nothing more attractive than a sweaty, overweight young woman gasping for air from sheer pain in a thirty centigrade heat.

We went to the animal- and amusement park, where Boyfriend had a ball with the animals he got to feed. Deer that were affectionate until they were done eating, suspicious pigs and bears which could do trick shots for treats, oh my. The amusement park part was less successful. Boyfriend had never been on any 'wild' rides. Which apparently was anything more exciting than a carousel. The moons spinning round and round got him good and scared, the water slide gave him some confidence, but the log flume elevator shook my elevator-shy knight in shining armor so hard he was still shaking five minutes after we got out. I didn't get him to go on the roller coaster, so we spent our time in the gift shop, drooling over a giant blue dragon plushie for the low, low price of 99.99 euros. Oh, and looking at dogs looking for homes. We need a dog, we're lonely.

My nails held out until Friday. By then, the right hand was a mess. The gel was cracked and coming off in flakes. J. is so good at her job, she's psychic. Anyway, I removed the gel on the right hand and the left hand came off during the train ride back today. I visited J. already, and she said she'd do my nails next. I hope those last longer, since the fingers on my left hand are already pounding from my typing, the nails are so thin. On the plus side, I can no longer function without nails sticking out two millimeters. Victory!

Boyfriend and I are no longer 'whiter than salad cream', either. Somehow, we ended up catching some sunlight and turning, if not brown, then a very convincing shade of beige. Oh, and getting a bit sunburned. Not on our heads, though. We have head coverings.

On the downside, Boyfriend and I did talk a lot of English this week. I switched languages lots, English is more spoken in my family than German, so I got confused. Also, I listened lots to my Norwegian audiobook. During my visit to the in-laws, I already noticed I needed more practice. Is it Monday yet?

Anyway, by Friday, I'd had enough of my family for another month or two. My mom was criticising my clothes, shoes, hair, body and behavior, my dad was starting to label all food as poison again and my cousin and sister were living in the pool again.

One of my cousins who wasn't there was looking for a drinking bottle. I recommended mine, which my dad had labeled as 'crap' when seen over the internet. They came into stock in the local supermarket just as the aforementioned cousin's mother left. My dad looked them over and decided the BPA-free wonders were okay, and so cheap! They bought three, two for home, one for the cousin. For four euros a pop, it's hard to go wrong.

Saturday, we got to go home. Fun! We amused ourselves admirably the first four hours or so. Then we missed a train (through no fault of our own) and our entire schedule got shaken up. I did not get to buy the laundry bags I had my eye on, Boyfriend is running late to celebrate his friends' birthdays and we're both exhausted.

By the time we got back on track, pun intended, we were bored. I listened some more to my book, Boyfriend listened to some music, but there wasn't much to do. So I took out a skein of yarn to be wound into a ball. I wrapped the loop of fuzz around Boyfriend's wrists like fluffy handcuffs and started wrapping. This confused the conductor so much, he forgot to check Boyfriend's ticket. I guess it's not everyday people take their hobby prep on holiday.

Anyway, we're back now. Tomorrow, we have lunch with Boyfriend's family. On Monday, Boyfriend looks into getting bug nets and I get nails. In the mean while, I have a pile of laundry that's waiting for me, and a dishwasher to turn on.