The 30 Days

So my plan was to make this a 30 day challenge to myself. Write one thing, every day, for at least 30 days. They passed without me noticing. I had fun, and I'll keep writing.

It's a nice things to do. It makes me at least try to find one good thing that happened each day, or look at the less good things in a more positive light. No one wants someone moaning and complaining each day.

Writing this thing is a good exercise in self-contemplation. It makes me take time for myself, at least a few minutes each day, and think about what happened and how I want to place them in my life. It sounds all deep and philosophical, but it doesn't feel that way. It's just good thinking, the way my therapists like me to think.

See, worrying and thinking in circles is bad, because it's unproductive. I do it a lot when I'm off my meds, but with a little chemical push in the back, I learn to not do it that often. Writing down what happened each day is productive thinking. What happened, what is on my mind, how do I do something with it? I've been writing each day. I now find myself thinking more about 'what should I put in my blog' than about things further in the future. It's a kind of brake on my mind.

Sure, I worry about never finding a job and being kicked out of the country, but I can rationalise it. I still have over two months to find something, and I look each day. In the mean while, I take it one day at a time. Well, future-wise, I do plan ahead. I've got things I want to do when I get a job, there's a vacation I might or might not be going on and I've got other things that I need to think about. Things like dinner and groceries, and laundry and dishes that need doing.

Boyfriend and I share the chores, but we often do them together. I'm good at sorting colors for laundry, for example, but Boyfriend knows how the oven works. He doesn't want pink T-shirts happening, and I turn the pizza soggy if I try to bake something. So we work together and make it work.

And we try new stuff together. Things like biking and fixing bikes. Munzees. Finding out what happened to mail. Peanut butter. Boyfriend discovered the joy of meatballs in the last month, but the ones he found in the store had his arch-nemesis mushrooms in them. Boyfriend doesn't like mushrooms. I wonder if I should tell him how easy it is to make meat balls. Sure, I'm not a sauce wizard, but maybe he is. Or maybe J. can tell us.

We'll see. In the mean while, let's try this for another 30 days.