The sunshine

So I'm leaving tomorrow. I'm all excited.

Or I was. This morning.

In the mean while, I've packed more stuff (none of which will fit in the car), realised just how bad I'm going to miss my books, reprimanded the dog while my mother nearly peed herself laughing and realised I'm still not done packing.

We should, at this time of night, be done loading the car, but we haven't started yet. It's raining, and dad doesn't want to pack in the rain.

I'm sulking in my room at the moment. I don't want my mother to come along tomorrow, because she'll try and make a holiday out of what will basically be unloading, eating, sleeping and leaving, and be disappointed when she fails. I do want to load the car, but the chairs are still in it and I don't know how to remove them. I want to take all my books, but I know I can't, and that makes me sad.

I'm also hungry and would like some ice cream, except last time I had it, I got sick. And the time before that. And before that. And before that. I'm slowly starting to see a pattern and don't want to spend my last night praying at the altar of the porcelain gods.

So I should look for tiny rays of sunshine in this raincloud that won't go away.

I found a baking book yesterday, for a reasonable price. The one I wanted had gone to a third of its size since my mom bought the first print, so I looked around and found another one which looked promising. It's the Libelle Bakboek, and I'm not sharing it with my mom until I'm safely in Germany and it can't 'accidentally' stay behind. It's mine.

In Germany, there will be a bright pink cell phone, happily waiting for me to buy it a shiny new SIM card with a German phone number, so I can start making friends and calling them. (Yes, I still have to pay back the boyfriend for it, but sunshine, dammit!)

I noticed this morning I lost 3 kilos. It's probably going to come back, but I'm enjoying the half-inch of extra space in my jeans while it lasts. And, who knows, I might lose more. Maybe I'll keep going until my excess weight permanently packs its bags and I'm at a healthy weight. I'll never be a stick, and I accept that, but it'd be nice to go into a doctor's office and not have to hear that I'm in the best of health, BUT... So yeah. Positive.

It's summer. With all its downsides, it also means fruit is in season. My grandpa has strawberries in his garden. The supermarket is stocking nectarines. Soon, the apples will be harvested and I can go apple-cake crazy. Oh, and berries! Mustn't forget the berries.

I have some posters I was sad to leave. After a short discussion with the boyfriend, it turns out he wants them in the entryway. I decided not to argue. They're not heavy, they're framed, to Germany they shall go!

And there's still one day for my missing online order to turn up. It has lots of things I've wanted for a long time in it, and it should have arrived weeks ago, but who knows. Maybe tomorrow is my lucky day.

Tomorrow will be better than today. If nothing else, I have been promised pizza. And snuggles. And kisses and hugs and sleeping cuddled up to my boyfriend at night. And, yes, he's my boyfriend and I haven't seen him in several weeks. You fill in the blanks on what that means.

In the mean while, I'm going to see if we really can't pack while it's raining. I want to make sure we leave on time tomorrow.