The Klepto Postman

I ordered a package at a website I trust. It even has delivered to Germany for me on two occasions. Both orders arrived promptly and undamaged, with everything I ordered in it.

When did I order? Today, a month ago. Normally they deliver within a week. It has to come from the Netherlands, but it's a very prompt service.

Now, there were some problems with TNT at the time of ordering, so I allowed for an extra week. Then I sent a e-mail. They asked me to wait one more week. I did, then sent another e-mail when it still didn't arrive. They made a new package with my order and sent it. A week and a half ago. It's still not here.

Boyfriend doesn't have a mail box, but in that case, the postman usually delivers to the establishment on the ground floor, since that's where Boyfriend works. They didn't receive anything. Occasionally, the postman gets confused and delivers to Boyfriend's mom's nail studio. I believe they're planning to strangle us in our sleep, we've called to often to ask if anything came in the mail.

The only thing I did different from last time was order with my own name instead of Boyfriend's. It now seems this was a fatal mistake. I might never see my 19 euros and 8 cents worth of jewelry (I traded in some saved credit and there was a sale).

So now I have two theories. There's a new postman on the route, and he eats silicone lobe eyelets and jojoba oil. Or my package, which should have come in a bubblewrap envelope, got delivered to somebody else's mailbox.

So I got out my best German and wrote a note, then stuck it to the entry door five minutes ago. 'Did you get a package for [Wolk]? Please ring at [Boyfriend]'s door. Thank you!'

I might turn into a front door goblin, waiting for someone to ring our strange-sounding doorbell, but it's the last shot I've got. After that, I'm waiting until I have a job and ordering the stuff all over with my first paycheck. In Boyfriend's name, this time.