(My sleeping pattern's weird lately. I go to bed in the afternoon, wake up for dinner, then sleep until half past four in the morning, fresh as a daisy.)
(Also: unless something happens or I've got major philosophising to do, I'm not going to bore you with my attempts at wittiness)
So the past few days have been pretty boring.
Iggy's still okay. He's even eating. I think he'd keep eating if we kept giving him stuff, but I'd rather have a dog than a jelly doughnut on legs.
My shoes still aren't shipped. If they don't get shipped today, I'm all out of excuses for the nice people working at the website. GIVE ME MY SHOES SO I CAN BE DISAPPOINTED, DAMMIT!
J. got new UV-light machines to harden gels. Technically, they only take one minute to harden out any modern gel, but she's not taking any chances with them. They're adorable, like little robot helmets. I've named them Biep-Biep and Wall-I. The names fit.
I knitted a pig hat for S., who was surprisingly happy to wear it. It was pink, glittery, and unmistakably pig-like. She's over twenty-five, but loved it. Go figure.
I said and understood a few things wrong. At some point I misheard 'electrical rotary tool ('fraser' in German)' for 'electroshock laser'. My surprise at the customer's calm aquiescence to have this used on her hands has kept people amused for days now.
I didn't know what a bike frame was, so I used the word 'skeleton', assuming people would know what I meant and correct me. J. took two minutes to recover from that one.
Shortly afterwards, I used my background in all sensible languages to assume 'repair' is 'reparation' in German. It's not. It's 'reparatur'. At that point, Boyfriend was called in to translate from Flemish (which he did admirably) what I was trying to say (the back wheel of my bike keeps rubbing the frame, the tire deflates surprisingly quickly, and I want to get it repaired, but I'm scared the repairs will turn into a complete bike overhaul costing several hundred euros if the bike repair shop doesn't understand my German) before J. developed a customer backlog. There are days I should just shut up.
Yesterday, we went to Bamberg, for whimsical shopping and inspiration. Well, I wanted blind-bag ponies and yarn. I found neither. I did get a pair of fresh leather thongs to turn into necklaces, a milkshake-y thing at KFC that definitely wasn't worth the three euros I paid and something whimsical. Something light. An STD.
I spent at least half an hour in the selection process. Did I want a parasite? A bacteria? A body cell? A virus? Which virus did I want? Then it was time for elimination. I'd hoped for the common cold, but it was either never in stock, or it had been sold out already. So that left Herpes or HIV.
Herpes was a nice, bright yellow and shaped like a flying saucer. Also, it had a little dent of a nose that was downright adorable.
HIV was black, had a support ribbon and was the same shape as my much-wanted common cold. It was fuzzy. Its little red eyes stared up at me all adorable like. It needed a home. It looked so helpless and precious and--
Yeah, I now have AIDS.
To prevent a rather urgent call from my mother, should this enter the family grapevine, let me explain to you that I bought a Giant Microbe. They're plushies, shaped like common and uncommon infections and/or cells, personificated somewhat, more or less acurately depicted and blown up to be about four inches high or long. (We also found a truly gargantuan Gonnorrhea virus, but it was a bit too expensive for what it was.) The things come with a card explaining what the actual version of the infection/cell did, how it survives, dies, gets treated, etc.
I learned, for example, that drying out fluids infected with HIV has a ninety to ninety-nine chance of killing the virus. Huh.
Should biology teachers be interested, the company also makes red blood cells, white blood cells, egg cells, sperm cells and beer yeast, in varying sizes and quantities.
And, to conclude, Barack Obama got another four years to try and make America a better place.
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