The Electronics

Boyfriend and I are currently in a tiny speck of Germany where there are people, running water, electricity, telephone line and satellite dishes but no cell phone reception. We're also staying in a small B&B where no wireless internet is offered to guests.

It's a place where you can get away from it all. It's so far from civilization, it has its own fire corps, because the town could burn down in the time it'd take for the bigger cities to get a fire truck or chopper over there. It's that small and that remote.

My family has been going there for years, so we're used to it. Boyfriend isn't, so he spent a large part of last week wondering how he'd survive without 'contact to the outside world'.

At the time of writing this (last week), I'm trying to stick of the principle of one cell phone and one electronic, handheld gaming platform. He can have his PSP or his Nintendo, but not both.

I'm sticking to this, because in the past few years, arguments have mainly been about people refusing to partake in family activities, such as a drink with the family at night or a walk or visit to a town with, y'know, shops and swimming pools and ice cream parlors and cell phone reception, in favor of gimmicks. We know we can survive a week without it because, quite simply, we have before. We don't go there to watch DVDs on a portable player or beat the final boss in some platform game. We go there because it's peaceful and beautiful and our family has done it for two or three generations.

And we're not cut off from civilization. We go places, we visit things, we run into a surprising amount of people we can talk to. We just don't have our own kitchen to cook in or a computer to spend hours chatting on. When cell phones came into our lives, we could form small groups and do seperate things. An uncle could go to a town and visit a war museum while his wife and her sisters took the kids to the pool and the rest of the guys went hiking, but we could all meet up around the same time in a café for lunch without someone calling mountain rescue because one group was late. Or we could call to those who stayed home, once a day. It's expensive to actually call, and I think that's a good thing. If they miss us, they should come along.

My dad briefly entertained the option of taking a laptop and buying German internet access, but it failed. I'm secretly glad. I took my laptop the last few years because I simply couldn't walk without agony, which limited my activities somewhat and I needed stuff to keep boredom at bay. I'm better now and I want to go places. I didn't miss my internet. To be honest, I mostly read on it and played simulations of games for smaller, handheld consoles.

So I'm torturing the love of my life in favor of tradition and the old-world idea of some time to oneself. But he can have one console. We do have a six hour train ride after all.

The Plugs

So I have this sizeable collection of earlobe plugs, including the odd tunnel or two. It's at my dream size of six millimeters. Wonderful. I still have a wish list as long as my foot on what I still want, including a pair of ear weights costing 499 euros from which only two sets were made in the entire world. It's made from silver and pyrite ammonites. Millions of years dead and they're still drop-dead gorgeous.

Right, going off-topic. What I wanted to talk about was my current dillemma. I reached my end size a few months ago and everything was going swimmingly until about last week. Then I could push my internally threaded, screw-shut tunnels loosely through both earholes. Which means my lobes are expanding. They won't get bigger than they are now, probably, but I think they're currently at about eight millimeters.

I know the solution to this. Sleep with 'naked' ears and wear what's known as 'organics' during the day. Meaning horn, wood and stone. Preferably wood, as it's light and thus doesn't help gravity stretch my ears further.

Problem: I don't know how long I can not wear jewelry before my ears stretch back to five mm or smaller. I like my end size and don't want to lose it by sleeping naked, as it were. I can wear tunnels with piercing rings through them, but as much as I like that look, it looks a bit too whimsical to be subtle. And while I like attention, I don't like constant, gaping attention.

So I guess I'll try sleeping without jewelry and pray I don't go down a size. Wish me luck.

The Vacation

Boyfriend and I are leaving on vacation today! We're leaving really early and going someplace with no internet and no cell phone reception, so I won't be able to update the blog with my daily adventures.

No worries, though. I've prepared a few small snippets of thought for the oncoming week. They'll be short and coming to you each morning, so you've got something to read at breakfast if you're not there with me.

If you are going to be there with me, you have until eight am to get in the car and drive to Germany. We'll be waiting close to delicious soup and cake and ice cream for you guys to come pick us up. If you don't want to pick us up, pick up our bags and we'll rent some bikes and ride ourselves. I'll believe there's no room in the car for two more people, because and everyone involved in this annual ritual knows why, but if you haven't let enough room for two small bags, I'm going to be severely annoyed.

This year, I can actually talk to the people around us, muahahaha!

Anyway, see you guys after a week of food cooked by other people and lovely German countryside!

The Loose Ends

We overslept today. Well, I say we did. Boyfriend disagrees.

We packed at our usual record speed, and since Boyfriend had more practice, he has a functional check list. I don't, so I spent the whole day thinking of things I had yet to chuck into my bag.

Oh, and then there's the loose ends I'm trying desperately to tie up. I want to finish doing laundry, and do all the dishes and finish my knitting and reading.

The reading I managed, the dishes sort of, but the laundry basket is magical: it keeps filling itself up with stuff while I'm not looking. And no, it's not Boyfriend's stuff, there's my stuff too. On the bright side, I did finish my huge pile of bedlinen. Now it's just half a load of towels, a selection of coloreds and a smattering of darks. Not enough to warrant running three loads in the middle of the night.

My knitting I'm desperately working on now, but it's looking like I'm not going to go to bed any time soon if I keep working on it. But I want to know if I've got enough yarn and if I can start on the more portable slipper thang I've got my eye on. I think I'll ask Boyfriend to help me wind a ball later and knit while he's asleep. This thing is not going to let me go.

We also went shopping today for a few things we still needed. I don't know what kind of image a toy pony, condoms, razor blades and cereal paints, but that's what we got. The pony was on sale and missing in Boyfriend's collection, I wasn't sure if we had enough cereal to last us until after we're back and the condoms and razor blades we ran out of. I'm not sure if we're going to use them while on holiday, but better safe than sorry and all that. When it comes to smooth legs, it's perhaps a bit extreme to use it, but I definitely don't want babies happening, so double dutch it is.

Then there's the things you pack where you go 'I'm not sure, but...' Like eight pairs of socks when you're going for six days and wear Birkenstocks most of the time. Like three filled drinking bottles in case I need to lend one or someone in the family 'borrows' one the way they borrowed two of my six millimeter double point knitting needles three years ago. Heck, I'll pay a drinking bottle in ransom to see it back, to be honest. Like three books when I haven't been reading as avidly as usual lately. Then again, I'm leaving my pc here and my iPod is probably going to end up being used by my baby cousin, who likes playing Fruit Ninja. Should I take the cow hand puppet?

And I feel downright silly for panicking about other things. I packed a small stock of travel medications, as experience has taught me is necessary, but I can't find the aspirin we bought a few weeks back. We probably won't need it, and it costs like less than four euros to get a new package, but it's still bugging me. Somehow, I've got this sinking feeling someone will have a headache the size of Texas on Sunday, before we can buy new ones.

Oh, and I'm bringing an incendiary device a non-electronic piece of entertainment. I have fond memories of me and my family skipping meals and vowing bloody murder over it, so it might not be the best idea to bring it, but it's tiny and it was cheap and I want to play. It's Monopoly - Travel Edition. It's the size of a book and it's in German. Let the good times roll.

Let's see how this all turns out...

The Tips

Today, I did my nails. From start to finish, while skipping only one step.

I got into the studio early in the morning, as usual, but there weren't any clients. So I started filing off my animals. Which went very, very slowly, until Sis pointed out gels get removed with the rough side of a file. Whoops.

I was halfway done when I noticed that my light box had disappeared. Seeing as working in a nail studio is very similar to sharing a room with a bunch of undiagnosed kleptomaniacs, it wasn't so much 'what happened to it' as 'who took it and where is it now?'. Usually, the answer is 'S.' and 'in her cupboard', but S. has her own light boxes and she's still under scrutiny after losing the white gold gel. Also, she usually steals from Sis and J. Everyone steals mostly from Sis and J., though I. occasionally gets her personal gels borrowed without asking, too. I noted to myself I needed to ask that at some point,

Then a customer came, and I scooted over to watch. J. promptly asked if I could please clean the entire shelf of merchandise next to the counter. I resisted the urge to pout and cleaned the counter. Then I removed an appointment from the book. Then I watched J. work on the customer.

It was a very slow day in the studio, so I had lots of time to work on my nails. I had a vision. A vision and a dastardly plan of forcing myself to live with longer, gelled nails.

So I filed and filed and filed some more until I'd filed too much, but the animals were gone. Then I went to J. to ask for the short-nail tips, glue and a clipper.

I spent the next two and a half hours filing, pasting, filing, accidentally removing, repasting, filing some more, purposefully removing, repasting and filing until I thought I'd done a reasonably well job of filing my own nails into shape. J. did not agree and sent me to I., who helped me file off the excess glue and make sure my nails were uniform in shape. Sis, who'd watched me file with growing pity, asked me why I hadn't done that in the first place. I told her I wanted to practice and learn. I'd learned so far that enthusiastic filing is mildly painful and how to remove tips.

Next, I got to work with gels.

I learned something new as soon as I started hardening out the ground layer of gel. Enthusiastically filed (read: overfiled) nails hurt a lot when put in a machine. Then I put on two layers of sky blue, skipping building gel in favor of keeping a shred of sanity after my vigorous filing excercise.

Then I wanted to paint clouds and grass, but even with tips and what I considered to be long nails, I didn't have enough room for the pastoral masterpiece I had in mind. Also, I don't have the ability to do complicated stuff left-handed. So I switched tactics and went from masterpiece to simplistic fun.

White got swapped for sparkly pink, I drew some vertical lines on my nails and voilà! instant fun nails. A quick layer of sealant over it and off to show it off. Apparently, even pink pinstripes on a blue background are creative: I got complimented on my nice ideas. Then I showed J.,  who agreed it was a nice idea, but was not at all happy with the mess I'd made from my right hand. There was gel on skin, gloopy lines... My left hand was super, though. Sis pointed out to me that your dominant hand always looked a bit crappier than your nondominant hand, which cheered me up a bit.

Then I went home, admiring my brand new, self-placed tips. I'm getting better. Let's see if I can keep them on until after my vacation.

The Bedlinen

Today, I was planning on being lazy. Then I told my cousin about it, and she was shocked and appalled at the concept of her having to get up at six, be in the hospital for her internship at seven and work until at least a quarter past three pm and me spending the day in bed with a good book or sitting behind the pc, playing video games.

So I did the dishes. Compulsively. Then I scrubbed the counter tops and the cooking plate. I helped Boyfriend gather up the garbage.

I even got to doing laundry. And then some more. Then I ran out of fabric softener, so I thought 'no more laundry for me'.

Then Boyfriend went into the city to pick up the other half of my medication for my foot and do some light shopping. He asked if we were out of something. I said we needed some orange popsicles, a carton of milk and maybe some fabric softener. Boyfriend came back with popsicles, ice cream, four cartons of milk and a bigger bottle of fabric softener than we usually have.

It was the same color, but a different brand. It wouldn't have worked at home. I know this for a certainty, since I've seen my dad come home with the same color but a different brand and also with the same brand but a different color. Both times were apparently serious enough incidents to warrant a very displeased look and comment from my mom, who is Lord and a Master of the laundry machine at our house.

My reaction was a thank-you and going back to the bathroom to do more laundry. The new softener smell delicious. And it needs less to make a rather large load (I stuffed as much laundry into the vat as it would hold) smell daisy fresh. Yes, it's not available from where Boyfriend shops twice a week and yes, it's slightly more expensive, but even with the smaller bottle we needed to buy it like once a month. The stuff can cost up to five euros for all I care, it won't be the thing to crack our budget any time soon.

I'm currently on my sixth load of the day. Most of that was bedlinen. I'm trying to dry it all on our tiny drying rack. It's warm, so it's sort of working for the top layer, and the bottom part was nearly dry anyway. Hopefully, the bits in the middle won't turn out stinky.

I thought I was done. Note the past tense there.

Then I remembered the polyester bedlinen we still have. Which also needs washing. And Boyfriend's red T-shirt is sort of skulking at the bottom of the laundry basket, too. And the heat came back up, so I'm guessing our clothes for tomorrow will want laundering tomorrow evening as well. Except we're having guests tomorrow evening. Drat.

I was hoping to be done by tonight, but the bedlinen gods decided otherwise. So I'll keep washing a bit more. Even if I don't finish, I'm not gonna get back from vacation to face 'Mt. Laundry - Muahahahaha!'. 'Hill Laundry - Neener-Neener-Neener' is a possibility, though. We're coming home on a Saturday evening. I can cram a few loads in before Monday, right?

The Good News

Today was a good day.

First of all, the doctor looked at my ouchie. It's not doing normal things, but it's not AAAAH-level bad. I've been told to elevate my foot whenever possible (whenever possible is kinda tricky) and to sleep with a compress soaked in a tincture that he promised will dye anything it touches to an irremovable yellow. Charming, no?

Going to the doctor abroad was the predictable bureaucratic nightmare it is supposed to be. Once we got everything sorted, however, everything went smoothly. The people were nice, the doctor was nice, the dog acclimatising to people by hiding behind the doctor's desk was very nice. Even the lady in the pharmancy giving me my tincture was nice.

Next, Boyfriend has two dry spots on his forehead from wearing his awesome hat in the hat. I told his mom about this, knowing it was mostly embarrassing, but harmless and some face cream would sort it out in a few days. J.'s reaction was to dig in the studio's merchandise and come up with a travel pack of face cream, night face cream and eye cream. He shall be hydrated to the extreme if he sticks with it. It was sort of comical to see a guy try to handle 'feminine' cosmetics. Lacking a girl's experience of being forced by magazines to learn how to handle them, he decided it was like cold cream and basically lathered his forehead with five days face-and-neck worth of cream. I'm evil for doing this, I know, but I giggled before helping him. Then I explained how to apply it in the future. It suddenly made a lot more sense to him that only a little came out when you pumped it.

The biggest news today, however, happened before all this. Boyfriend passed his theory test for driving school. This is apparently the hardest part of learning to drive in Germany, and he's been fighting and sulking and pouting about it for nearly two years. He tried once before, failed and it made him feel insecure about it. He promised he'd make work of it when I moved in however, so I nagged him every day to study at least once a day and he passed! You have rarely ever seen such a happy Boyfriend. I need to lack serious clothing and inhibitions to make him grin like he did all day.

The story on that, however, is not over yet. He now hasn't driven a car in nine months and still has to practice before taking the practical. Next week, he gets a reprieve, since we're on holiday, but after that I'm turning my whining powers back on full blast so he practices at least twice a week and learns from his mistakes, if he makes any. He has until October to pass the test and I promised him a surprise if he makes it.

One problem: I don't know what the surprise is gonna be yet. Oh, well.

In the meanwhile, I'm going to bandage my foot in the yellow dye thing and pray the purple bulls-eye patterns goes away, the swelling goes down and I don't have to go back to the doctor on Friday.